The Cursing

So… Here’s the thing, my husband says I raised by heathens.  I was raised by a creative open minded mother, she had a traumatic childhood and indulged her two daughters as a result.  My father is an atheist with a fantastic sense of humor, and my entire family loves to laugh and curse.  The dirtier the joke, the more they laugh.  So my entire family, when we get together, there is much laughter and foul language.  We have  a great time.  My dad has said more than once that enjoys curse words, and honestly so do I!  I work with children, so I can and do filter my language when necessary.  Old people, children, my bosses… but I feel so comfortable at home, especially when my husband and I are alone.  I enjoy cursing, it actually makes me happy.  And after being at work all day, when I get home, I just want to relax and be real.  My real self, enjoys cursing.

My husband was raised differently. He hates when I curse.  It was a huge part of my spanking lecture.  And yet last night I cursed.  I didn’t even think about it.  I was in my own home, only the two of us, and I was enjoying my one night off.  I start a 16 day stretch of work tomorrow, it consists of 122 hours.  The money is good, don’t get me wrong, it’s just a lot of work without a break.  So last night I just wanted to let loose, I hold it in all day,  but I didn’t want to in my own home.

So I cursed, something about my phone, I said fuck or fucking more than once.  I got the look from him followed by “this is your one chance”.   I asked what would happen should I accidentally let another one slip and he said 5 lashes.

Well it didn’t take long for me to exclaim “what the hell?” About something… and 5 lashes, surprisingly over my thin pajama pants.  I was then promised that each additional curse would add one more lash.  I got to 7 last night due to cursing two more times.

But I have issues with this.  If it’s just us, my husband and I, why do I have to filter?  I want to let loose, I want to curse.  He disagrees.

I swore 3 times, he promised one extra lash for every time I swore.  So I ended up with 7 lashes by the middle of our evening.  At that point, I was angry, I enjoy curse words. So I started an argument.   I want to be able to curse in my home, especially when he is only company.  He said no.  He would not allow me to curse at all in his company.  I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t budge.

Thats when I got mad.  I felt like my opinion didn’t matter.  I tried to explain,  but he wouldn’t hear it.  He wouldn’t listen to anything, cutting me off mid sentence with warnings.

Talk about mad…  wich I expressed to him. That I didn’t feel heard.

He took me back,  and with the hairbrush paddle I got spanked worse than last night!  It was longer and more painfull

I apparently cannot be myself in my own home.  I also apparently cannot save myself.  I’m now up to 28 lashes for cursing on Sunday.  My butt is black and blue and my husband has decided to start maintenance.  10 smacks every night, more if I misbehave.   This is going to continue until he sees improvement.  Not to mention the cursing spankings, that number will continue to rise every time I accidentally swear.  Thankfully so far he’s been delivering those with a wooden back scratcher over my pajama pants.  I can’t imagine how bad it would be if he decided to bare my butt and use something harsher!

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Oops I did it again…

Oh this feeling of dread.  I can’t escape it.  I screwed up bad this time.  I feel so stupid.  Last night the several glasses of wine I drank got me feeling brave.  I basically texted (he was asleep because he gets up early) my patient and calm loving husband that he wasn’t doing a good job of being our HOH.  And then to top it off I said I thought he was a lazy HOH.  Omg!! I don’t know what the heck is wrong with me!  I’ve been promised the hairbrush when I get home tonight.  I’m having dinner with a friend and have been told to be home by 9:00. I REALLY don’t want to be late.  I don’t want to make things worse…

The first time he spanked me was this exact day 5 years ago, the day we got engaged.  He booked the presidential suite at a lovely hotel and spanked me over his lap while sitting on a chair in the middle of the room.  I was really embarrassed that he was seeing me like that.

There was a low point in our marriage when he stopped spanking me.  I think he was frustrated that he wasn’t seeing the results he wanted.  But lately he’s picked it up again big time, and the sex has never been better!  I love him so much, he’s my rock and my soft place to fall.  He means the world to me.  And in less than seven hours he’s going to spank me for disrespecting him.   I know I deserve it.  When I woke up and went to text him “happy engagement anniversary”, I was horrified to see what I had done.  There it was, right on my phone, the evidence of drunken stupidity.

8:57 I pulled into the driveway.  I was on the phone with a very good friend of mine that knows about our relationship.  I had confessed to her earlier about what I had done and that my husband was determined to teach me a very painful lesson.   We were talking about everything when I got home.  I told her what I had been promised “a very long spanking with a hairbrush”.  Her response was “omg! I would cry!”  I wasn’t crying, I was very very nervous and scared.  We were still on the phone when I walked in the front door, but we ended the conversation quickly as she told me to call her when it was over.

I turned around, clutching my phone with both hands.  I was  standing in front of my husband who was sitting on the couch.  I couldn’t move, I could feel my face turn red.  I could barely breathe.  “Made it in the nick of time” he said.  “Yes, Sir”

“Well, you ready?”

“mm-hmm”

“you are?”

Barely nodded

“why are you standing there like that?”

“I’m scared!!!”

“well, lets go get it over with”

We walked to the bedroom, I went to my side of the bed, grabbed a pillow and held on for dear life.  “Get those pants down.”  I obeyed, but this was new.  He always pulled them down, I’m not sure why he made me do it, maybe it was an act of submission that he wanted me to do.  “You know why we’re doing this?”  “Yes Sir”   He picked up what I figured was a hairbrush or the hairbrush paddle which is the same shape without the brush part.  Either way I hadn’t even noticed it on my nightstand.  I waited anxiously for the first SMACK, I think he let me wait just so I wouldn’t know when it was coming.  And then… a few short seconds later…

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SAMCK SMACK SMACK SMACK

I was yelping and crying out, each one hurting impossibly more than the last.  The sting and thud of each SMACK felt unbearable.  I didn’t dare move, just cried out and clutched the pillow.

He paused the spanking to start a lecture.  “You deserve this don’t you?”

I was trying to catch my breath, but I managed to say “Yes Sir”

“Yes you do!” SMACK  “Your attitude has been bad way too often.  You need to respect me and respect yourself.  Do you know what you cause when you behave that way?”

“No Sir”  I was so thankful he hadn’t resumed spanking me yet.

“It causes dis-harmony in the house!  Do I want dis-harmony in my house?!”

“No Sir”

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

I pushed up on my hands to an almost standing position.  I couldn’t help it I had to escape the burning pain that came with every smack.

“The cursing needs to stop.  It does not sound good coming out of your mouth,  do you understand me?”

“Yes Sir”

“It doesn’t sound good coming out of anyone’s mouth, but especially a woman.  Bend down back over that bed.”  I did, knowing he had more for me.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK  “You disrespected me” SMACK SMACK SMACK “You disrespect yourself when you act like that” SMACK SMACK SMACK “I need to make an impression on you” SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK  “And that thing you said about me being a lazy Head of household” SMACK!!! “There is not a Head of household that wants to do this all the time several times a day anywhere in the world.  I shouldn’t have to.” SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK “Am I making myself clear? Are you paying attention?”

“Yes Sir”

“Do you want maintenance?  We would do this every single day and your butt would never heal, do you want that?”

“No Sir”

SMACK SMACK SMACK “Am I going to see some improvements in your behavior?” SMACK

“Yes Sir”

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK  SMACK SMACK SMACK

“Alright, were done here, for now”

He stood me up and wrapped his arms around me.  I burst into tears, my but still bare and on fire.  I cried partly because I was relieved it was over, and partly because I really was sorry.  He gently comforted me  with his strong arms and soothing soft tone.  “Ok baby, shhhhh. It’s all over now.  It’s all done.  I forgive you.  Shhhhh.”

I wont be forgetting that spanking anytime soon.  I got dressed in pajamas and went into the kitchen.  It was 9:14… I couldn’t believe it was only 9:14.  By butt was burning so bad I didn’t think it ever stop.